Understanding Your Capacity in Different Seasons

Last spring, I was invited to be a guest on a podcast. It felt exciting. I love talking about the work Mark and I do at Healing Arts Center, and podcasting seemed like a natural extension of that.

But timing matters.

At the time, my client schedule was full. I see clients in the office and online, and many of them are military families, including special operations forces and Gold Star families. We tell our clients to reach out between appointments if they need support. Sometimes that's a quick text or email. Sometimes it's a thirty-minute call. That's how we work, and I wouldn't change it.

When several clients needed more support at once, I had to look honestly at what I could actually handle. I was capable of doing the podcast. The opportunity was there. I wanted to do it. But my capacity couldn't hold it alongside everything else without something suffering.

So I paused. Not because I failed. Not because I wasn't good enough. Because I understood the difference between what I could do and what I could sustain.

Now I'm back to podcasting. I still have a full client base, but there's more wiggle room. What happened is that clients who were reaching out frequently between sessions learned to reach out to other resources in their lives too. They started leaning into the tools that actually work for them. Over time, they handle difficult situations without panicking. Their stress decreases. Their emotional capacity grows. They need less frequent check-ins, and the space opens up naturally.

My capacity shifted. I have the energy and the space now. What didn't fit in the spring fits now.

That's how seasons work.

Some seasons arrive with warning. You see them coming months ahead: a new job, a move, kids starting school. You can prepare.

Other seasons show up without notice, unexpected and often difficult to accept as the new reality. An illness. A loss. A sudden opportunity that changes everything. Even success you've been working toward can arrive in a way that throws you off balance. Suddenly you're traveling more. You might enjoy the work, but now there's childcare to arrange, household tasks piling up, and less time for the routines that kept you steady.

When this happens, you might notice something uncomfortable: what used to feel manageable now feels overwhelming. The rhythm you had doesn't work anymore. You're caught between what you know you're capable of and what you actually have capacity for right now.

Capability vs. Capacity

Capability is what you're able to do under ideal conditions. Your skills, your training, your experience. That doesn't go away when life shifts.

Capacity is what you can actually handle given your current circumstances. Your energy, your bandwidth, your resources in this specific moment.

The gap between the two can be jarring. You might think, "I used to manage all of this. Why can't I now?" But capacity changes with stress, fatigue, grief, health, caregiving responsibilities, or major transitions. What felt easy before can feel impossible now. You haven't lost your ability. Your capacity has shifted.

The Permission to Pause

When everything feels like too much, the instinct is often to push harder. To try to force yourself back into the rhythm that used to work. But what helps more is pausing long enough to assess what's actually in front of you.

Ask yourself: What actually needs my attention right now? Not what feels urgent because someone else expects it. Not what I think I should be doing. What genuinely matters in this season?

This isn't about cutting corners. It's about choosing what you can sustain and giving it your full attention.

What Gets to Stay, What Needs to Go

You're not meant to carry everything at once. Some things that made sense last year don't make sense now. Some commitments that felt important aren't actually yours to keep.

Maybe you used to lead a volunteer group, host regular gatherings, and maintain a rigorous workout schedule. Now you're caring for an aging parent or navigating a health crisis of your own. Those activities might not fit anymore. Letting them go isn't giving up. It's recognizing that not everything is meant for every season.

Your capacity will shift again. What you release now, you might pick back up later. Or you might not.

When you try to operate beyond your capacity, you don't just exhaust yourself. You do everything less effectively. You show up for people half-present. You make decisions from depletion instead of clarity.

When you work within your capacity, you have space to adjust when something unexpected comes up. Space to be present for what actually matters.

Moving Forward

If you're in a season where everything feels harder than it used to, consider this: nothing is wrong with you. Your capacity has shifted, and you're being asked to adjust accordingly.

Stop measuring yourself against what you could do before. Start asking what you can handle now. Focus on doing a few things well instead of struggling to keep up with everything.

Your capabilities aren't going anywhere. But your capacity needs honoring. When you respect it, you create space for clearer thinking, better decisions, and the energy to keep going.

This distinction between capability and capacity is something I work with every day at Healing Arts Center. As a somatic and mindfulness coach, I support clients navigating stress, burnout, caregiving, transitions, and high-responsibility roles, especially within military and first responder communities. The work focuses on learning how to respond to what is actually present rather than forcing yourself to function as if nothing has changed. You can learn more about my work at https://www.healingartsvb.com or schedule an appointment at https://www.vagaro.com/healingartscenter.