By Victoria Duarte, Somatic and Mindfulness Coach and Co-Founder of Healing Arts Center
For the last few weeks, I have spent my days working with clients who are grieving. Some are grieving the loss of a loved one. Others are grieving the security of a familiar life, a treasured relationship, or their sense of identity and purpose.
People are often told to be brave and keep going after a loss. In my work, I see real courage in something harder: accepting a new way of living without your loved one. You learn to live without the comfort of their presence, the sound of their laughter, their daily support, and the shared moments that once brought you joy.
Grief is a living process in the body
Grief is painful, and it is also a living process that moves through the body and the mind. It has its own energy, and that energy asks to be felt and expressed. We often picture grief as a pit we fall into and cannot climb out of. In the body, grief behaves more like a current. It is the body's natural response to loss, an embodied experience that invites us to sense, feel, and honor our pain.
When we allow grief to move through us, we create space for healing and for life to slowly return. Grief is a powerful expression of being alive. It is an emotional current that connects us to who we are and to the world around us.
Why avoiding grief makes the ache last longer
The ache that lingers often comes from trying not to feel grief. When we tense up or push sadness away, the ache settles in and stays with us, shaping our days in ways we may not even notice. Over time, this holding pattern often leads us to numb out or push people away.
Numbing out can look like staying busy every waking hour, avoiding places and photos that remind us of the loss, drinking more than usual, or feeling flat when a friend calls. It may dull the pain for a while, although it also dulls the moments of joy, laughter, and closeness that make life feel full. Pushing people away can look like declining invitations, hiding our grief to take care of everyone else, or telling everyone we are fine. Grief also brings irritability, and we may find ourselves short and sharp with the people we love most. Many grieving people worry they are a burden, so they pull back from the very people who could support them. Each of these responses makes sense as a way to protect ourselves, and each one can leave us feeling more alone with the loss.
If we allow ourselves to feel grief, to notice it in our bodies and let it move, the heaviness begins to loosen. Over time, as we give grief room to be felt, our hearts can open again. Gradually, other feelings like kindness, gratitude, and love begin to return, reminding us that we are still here and still connected to life.
A gentle reflection for noticing grief in your body
I invite you to rest in a gentle reflection. Take a moment to bring your attention inward, and notice what is present in your body as you consider your relationship with grief.
Do you allow yourself to feel grief, or do you find yourself turning away from it? You don't need to search for answers in your mind. Instead, be curious about the subtle sensations that come up: a tightness in the chest, a softening in the belly, a wave of emotion, or simply stillness. Whatever you sense, meet it with kindness and patience.
What comes up may look different from sadness or tears. You might notice resistance, a wave of overwhelm, numbness, blankness, or a sense of nothing in particular. All of these are welcome here. There is no right or wrong way for grief to show itself in the body, so meet whatever you find with gentle curiosity and care.
You do not have to grieve alone
Grief was never meant to be held in isolation. Healing happens in connection, when our experience is seen and supported by others. Let whatever is present be met with care, knowing you do not have to move through this by yourself.
If today all you do is notice, with softness, that there is grief waiting somewhere inside you, that is enough. Bringing awareness to what is present in your body is a way of coming home to yourself, a small turning toward your own heart.
Grief support at Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach
At Healing Arts Center, our practitioners use mindfulness and mind body practices to support people through loss and life transitions. To book a session, visit healingartsvb.com or call (757) 251-9301.
I am a somatic and mindfulness coach, not a therapist. This work does not replace therapy, and it can complement it. If grief brings thoughts of ending your life, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at any hour.
About the author
Victoria Duarte is a somatic and mindfulness coach and co-founder of Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach, with more than fifteen years of practice. She teaches clients the importance of creating space for self-compassion by tuning into what the body is communicating. Her training includes Neurosomatic Coaching, Somatic Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Trauma-Informed Breathwork, Trauma-Sensitive Meditation, Yoga Nidra, Vagal Toning, Integrative Somatic Parts Work, Reiki and Trauma-Informed Reiki, Somatic Meditation Facilitation, and certification in Medical Hypnotherapy. She is a former special needs educator with a bachelor's degree in education. Book a session with Victoria at vagaro.com/healingartscenter.
