Inner Child Hypnotherapy in Virginia Beach: Meeting the Rules You Made as a Child

By Victoria Duarte, somatic and mindfulness coach at Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach

Key takeaways

• As children, we create rules about how to stay safe and loved, and many of us still follow them as adults.
• These old rules often show up as people pleasing, trouble asking for help, or going numb during conflict.
• Inner child hypnotherapy uses a relaxed, focused state to help you connect with your younger self and offer them comfort.
• You stay aware and in control the entire time, and hypnotherapy is always optional.
• Inner Child Coaching and Hypnotherapy is offered at Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach.

What are childhood survival rules?

Childhood survival rules are the beliefs we form as children about how to stay safe and loved in our families. Most of us never say them out loud, and many of us have never noticed them at all.

Think back to the house you grew up in. Somewhere along the way, you learned what made the adults around you smile and what made them go cold. You learned which feelings were welcome and which ones made the room tense. You were very young, and you were paying close attention.

From all of that watching, you wrote yourself a set of rules. They tend to sound something like this:

• I shouldn't ask for what I need.
• I have to be good so nobody gets upset.
• It is my job to take care of everyone.
• I should never shine brighter than anyone else.
• My feelings are dangerous, so I keep them to myself.

These rules made sense when you made them. A child can't leave home, pay rent, or find new people to raise them. The only option is to adapt, and you did that remarkably well.

How do childhood rules show up in adult life?

Childhood rules often follow us into adulthood long after the situation that created them has changed.

Someone who learned to never ask for what they need may find it almost impossible to ask a partner for help, even when they are exhausted. Someone who learned to keep everyone happy may say yes to every request at work and then lie awake resenting it. Someone who learned that feelings were dangerous may go numb during an argument and only feel the hurt hours later. If keeping the peace has left you feeling stuck, you may also relate to our post, Feeling Stuck in Life? The Peacekeeper in You May Be Angry.

None of this means something is wrong with you. It means an old rule is still running.

In my coaching sessions, we start by noticing these moments. When you catch yourself apologizing for having a need, or saying yes when your body is saying no, we get curious about how old that reaction feels. Very often, it belongs to a much younger version of you.

Where does inner child work fit in?

Inner child work is a way of getting to know that younger part of you and offering it what it needed back then. If you are new to this idea, start with our guide, What Inner Child Work Actually Is (and Why We Pair It With Breathwork).

What is inner child hypnotherapy?

Inner child hypnotherapy uses a relaxed, focused state to help you connect with your younger self, notice what they feel, and offer them comfort.

The American Psychological Association's Society of Psychological Hypnosis describes hypnosis as a state of focused attention and reduced awareness of what is happening around you, with an increased openness to suggestion. In plain terms, it feels similar to being absorbed in a good book and losing track of time.

Some clients find it hard to connect with their inner child while their mind is busy planning dinner and replaying the day. Hypnotherapy gives the busy mind a chance to settle, so the session can focus on what you feel.

I don't use hypnotherapy to search for hidden or forgotten memories. We work with what you already remember and what you feel in the present.

What does an inner child hypnotherapy session feel like?

Many people picture stage shows when they hear the word hypnosis. A hypnotherapy session at Healing Arts Center looks very different:

• You stay aware of where you are the entire time.
• You can hear me, speak, and open your eyes whenever you want.
• You cannot be made to say or do anything you don't want to.
• We agree on the focus of the session together beforehand.

What else can Inner Child Coaching and Hypnotherapy include?

Each session is shaped around what you need that day, and hypnotherapy is always optional. Over time, your sessions could include:

• Talking with your inner child and listening to what they have to say
• Journaling in your inner child's voice
• Meditating to feel more in touch with your inner child
• Making time for the things you loved as a child, like drawing, dancing in the kitchen, or spending an afternoon outside
• Learning to parent yourself, which means responding to your own hurt with patience, comfort, and a willingness to listen
• Somatic breathwork, when it feels right for you

What do people hope to gain from inner child hypnotherapy?

People come to this work for many reasons. Some want to feel their emotions again after years of feeling numb. Others want to set boundaries and speak up for themselves, take better care of themselves, or enjoy life and have fun again. Many simply want to like themselves more, which we also explore in Why You Cannot Think Your Way Into Self-Worth.

Change from this work builds through practice over time, and it looks different for each person. My role is to move at a pace that feels safe for you, so you never have to do any of it alone.

Frequently asked questions

Is hypnotherapy safe?
Hypnotherapy is a gentle, relaxed state, and you stay aware of your surroundings the entire time. If you have a history of psychosis or a dissociative condition, talk with a licensed clinician before trying hypnotherapy.

Will I lose control during hypnotherapy?
No, you can speak, move, or open your eyes at any time during hypnotherapy. You cannot be made to say or do anything you don't want to.

Can hypnotherapy help me connect with my inner child?
Many clients find that the relaxed, focused state of hypnotherapy makes it easier to picture their younger self and notice what they feel. Experiences vary, and some people connect more easily through meditation or journaling.

Do I have to do hypnotherapy to work on my inner child?
No, hypnotherapy is optional. Your sessions can also use meditation, journaling, breathwork, and somatic practices.

Where can I find inner child hypnotherapy in Virginia Beach?
Inner Child Coaching and Hypnotherapy is offered at Healing Arts Center, a veteran-owned wellness collective at 4652 Haygood Rd A, Virginia Beach, VA 23455. The center serves adults across Hampton Roads.

A note on scope

I am a coach, not a licensed therapist. Inner child coaching and hypnotherapy are personal growth work and do not replace mental health care. If your early years were unsafe, or you are in crisis right now, please start with a licensed clinician. At Healing Arts Center, you can work with Erin Freeman, LPC. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.

Book Inner Child Coaching and Hypnotherapy in Virginia Beach

If some of those childhood rules sounded familiar, you are in good company. I offer Inner Child Coaching and Hypnotherapy at Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach.

Book a session at vagaro.com/healingartscenter, or call (757) 251-9301 with questions.