What Happens To The Feelings We Push Away

We push away our grief, fear, anger, disgust, even our joy. Unprocessed emotion does not disappear. It gets projected outward, appearing in ways we do not always recognize as pain.

We think avoiding our feelings protects us. In reality, it is the opposite. What we refuse to face does not go away. It only finds another way out.

We find things, people, and circumstances to blame. We cling to assumptions and narratives, holding onto the thorns of our lives instead of setting them down.

We disown what hurts, or we justify it. Another person may be responsible for what happened. The feeling left behind is still ours to notice and tend to. We have to recognize how we feel, and how that stress is shaping us. Ignoring a feeling does not dissolve it. It only closes the door on compassion and forgiveness.

Few things unsettle us more than refusing to know how we feel. Looking within, once we allow it, becomes a gentle guide rather than something to fear. There might be tears as we release the anger, the fear, the rejection, the judgment, the hopelessness. There is a physical release too, as we let go of the pressure of holding it all together.

When we notice how we feel, we create space for those emotions to move through us instead of getting stuck. We already have the wisdom to do this without resistance, and without needing to defend ourselves from it.

Where Somatic Work Comes In

Somatic and mindfulness coaching starts with the body. Rather than staying stuck in a difficult experience, it asks a simple question: where do you feel that in your body? From there, it offers practical tools to process what is happening instead of getting overwhelmed by it.

A Simple Somatic Practice to Try

You can do this standing, sitting, or lying down, wherever feels comfortable. Give yourself a few unhurried minutes.

1. Settle into your body and environment. Notice what is supporting you right now, a chair, the ground, a bed. Let your eyes wander around the space. What catches your attention? Give yourself time here before moving on.

2. Travel through your body with attention. Starting at your head, let your awareness drift downward, section by section, until you reach your feet. You are not looking for anything specific, just noticing what you find as you go.

3. Meet tension with curiosity. When you land on a tight or uncomfortable area, try placing a hand there. Light pressure, stillness, or even hovering just above the skin are all options. Watch closely for any response.

4. Let your body lead the pace. If the discomfort softens, keep doing what you are doing. If it grows, that is useful information too, so try adjusting your touch, moving your hands, or changing your approach entirely.

5. Allow movement to arise. Sometimes the body wants to shake, stretch, curl inward, or release suddenly. There is no script here. Trust whatever wants to happen.

6. Pause and reflect. To close the practice, take a breath and compare how you feel now to how you felt at the start. Name anything that is different, even something small.

The wisdom does not disappear when things get hard. It is still there, waiting for us to listen.

Work with Victoria

I am not a therapist. This work supports self-awareness and everyday wellbeing, and it does not replace care from a licensed clinician. If you are in crisis, call or text 988. Work with me If the practice above opened something you would rather not work through alone, book a somatic and mindfulness session with me at Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach. We start with what your body is doing while you talk, and you set the pace the whole way through.

Healing Arts Center is a veteran-owned collaborative bringing together practitioners who understand the body and mind connection. Mark and I offer a sliding scale to veterans, active duty service members, first responders, and their family members. Book at healingartsvb.com, or call the center and tell us what you are working on so we can point you to the right practitioner. Victoria Duarte is a mindfulness and somatic coach, trauma-informed Reiki practitioner, and trauma-informed meditation practitioner with more than fifteen years of practice. She co-founded Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach. https://www.vagaro.com/healingartscenter