Rebuilding Self-Trust After Gaslighting
At Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach, we often meet people who’ve spent years doubting their instincts. They sense something is off, but are told again and again that they’re the problem. This reflection, written by Victoria, explores how self-trust erodes and how mindfulness and somatic coaching can help you rebuild it.
From the outside, it looked like I had everything together. Inside, my body was uneasy.
I had what others called a dream job. People congratulated me as if I had won something. But no one saw the early-morning texts, the constant pressure, or how my one day off kept disappearing for meetings that never seemed to matter.
I tried to speak up. Each time, the story shifted until it pointed back to me. I was told I was too sensitive, not efficient enough, and too emotional. Eventually, I stopped trusting my own judgment.
Not because I couldn’t see the problem, but because I started believing I was the cause. I worked harder, tried to improve, and convinced myself that if I changed enough, things would finally get better.
That is how self-doubt takes hold. It isn’t a lack of awareness—it’s the slow erosion of confidence that comes from being told you’re wrong about what you know to be true.
Erik Erikson described “basic trust” as a foundation we carry through life—a sense that our experiences are valid and the world can be reliable. When that sense is undermined, we start to question our perception of reality, even when our body is clear.
Losing self-trust looks like recognizing a problem but wondering if you caused it. Speaking up and then second-guessing whether you should have stayed quiet. Taking responsibility for things that were never yours to fix.
To trust yourself is to honor your experience of reality, even when someone insists you’re wrong. It’s believing what your body already knows and locating responsibility where it actually belongs.
You don’t need permission to believe what you see. You don’t need anyone to agree before you take your own perception seriously.
Notice where you’ve carried blame that doesn’t fit. Where you’ve tried to solve something that wasn’t yours. Where your body has been telling you the truth all along.
Fatigue, anxiety, and that constant feeling of walking on eggshells aren’t evidence that you’re broken. There are signs that something around you needs to change.
At Healing Arts Center, we view trust as a practice that grows through awareness, pacing, and compassion. If this resonates, mindfulness and somatic coaching can help you reconnect with your body’s wisdom and confidence.
Sessions with Mark and Victoria are collaborative, practical, and paced to you. Offered in person in Virginia Beach and online. Sliding scale for veterans, active duty, and first responders. Learn more at healingartsvb.com or schedule directly through healingartscenter on Vagaro.
