Rebuilding Self-Trust After Gaslighting
At Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach, we often meet people who’ve spent years doubting their instincts. They sense something is off, but are told again and again that they’re the problem. This reflection, written by Victoria, explores how self-trust erodes and how mindfulness and somatic coaching can help you rebuild it.
From the outside, it looked like I had everything together. Inside, my body told a different story.
I had what others called a dream job. People congratulated me as if I had won something. But no one saw the early-morning messages, the constant pressure, or how my one day off kept disappearing for meetings that never seemed to matter.
When I tried to speak up, the story constantly shifted back to me. I was told I was too sensitive, not efficient enough, and too emotional. Eventually, I stopped trusting my own judgment—not because I couldn’t see the problem, but because I began to believe I was the problem. I worked harder, tried to improve, and convinced myself that if I changed enough, things would finally get better.
That’s how self-doubt takes hold. It isn’t a lack of awareness; it’s the slow erosion of confidence that happens when you’re told your perception is wrong over and over again.
How Self-Trust Gets Undermined
Psychologist Erik Erikson described “basic trust” as a foundation we carry through life—a belief that our experiences are valid and that the world can be reliable. When that foundation is shaken, we begin to question our own sense of reality, even when our body is sending clear signals.
Losing self-trust can look like:
Recognizing a problem but wondering if you caused it
Speaking up and then second-guessing yourself
Taking responsibility for things that were never yours to fix
Returning to What You Know
Rebuilding self-trust means honoring your lived experience, even when others deny it. It’s learning to believe what your body already knows and to place responsibility where it truly belongs.
You don’t need permission to believe what you see. You don’t need anyone's agreement before you take your perception seriously.
Start by noticing where you’ve carried blame that doesn’t belong to you, where you’ve tried to solve something that was never yours, and where your body has been quietly telling the truth all along.
Fatigue, anxiety, and the feeling of walking on eggshells aren’t signs that you’re broken. They are signs that something in your environment needs to change.
A Somatic Approach to Reconnection
At Healing Arts Center, we view self-trust as a practice that grows through awareness, pacing, and compassion. Mindfulness and somatic coaching help you reconnect with your body’s wisdom—so you can move from self-doubt toward steadier confidence in what you know to be true.
At Healing Arts Center, we view trust as a practice that grows through awareness, pacing, and compassion. If this resonates, mindfulness and somatic coaching can help you reconnect with your body’s wisdom and confidence.
Sessions with Mark and Victoria are collaborative, practical, and paced to you. Offered in person in Virginia Beach and online. Sliding scale for veterans, active duty, and first responders. Learn more at healingartsvb.com or schedule directly through healingartscenter on Vagaro.
